Steady C‘s “I’m a Blast (THIS IS HIP HOP SON!)” is this recent week’s most liked track on 8bitcollective.
I couldn’t tell you why, to be honest. There doesn’t seem to be a lot in the way of chip involved in this track, beyond what sounds like a three second loop repeating throughout the entire song, topped by a hint of melody during the choruses (chorii?). This beat isn’t even worth repeating a standard four times, let alone for an entire song, but let’s disregard that for a moment.

Treating this as the rap song this is, it doesn’t fare any better. Beyond the simple ascending chip intro, a pretty standard white guy’s voice comes in, proclaiming out of nowhere “You never even suspected that I was ramming your sister, until you saw my kids in your family picture” going on to produce references to current youth subcultures (hipsters and ‘kandi’ ravers), never turning into anything worth a second listen.

The next verse starts off with more promise, attempts to be comedic, but falls far short of any Bloodhound Gang-like brilliance.
I didn’t even listen to the last verse. Sure, I listened through the song, but by this point my interest was already on another tab, thinking and writing up this review.
The song ends as it starts, in reverse. Descending nonmelodic outro and a sample of some kid talking. Unremarkable.

Basically, don’t listen to this song. I don’t know what the users of 8bc were thinking last week, but this track is just not very good. I was trying to start a weekly column for myself, but if this keeps up it may not happen.
I won’t even bother posting it here– if you’d like to listen yourself, please give your thoughts as to how one would enjoy it.

Here’s hoping next week’s gives me something better to work with.

*This post has been edited for content, by request of the management
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Opinions expressed in this review are that of the writer, and do not represent the opinions of CrunchyCo as a whole, or its owners.